Inching forward

So many of you have sent cards with memories of Zach or how sharing this journey with you has given you peace or hope or helped you feel connected from far away. Thank you for doing that; it means so much to me. Many of you have also told me how wonderful I am with words, which amazes me. I never felt like a good writer, but perhaps I had nothing meaningful to share until the last two years, and I plan to continue to write.

Grief is a complex feeling and one that Zach and I have both felt since he was diagnosed. I found a therapist first, and then he joined me, and we did grief counseling together. Reflecting on the last two years, grieving together was such a gift. To talk about everything, nothing left undone or too upsetting or dark, and to try and leave no regrets.

We discussed what I wanted for him if our situations were switched and what he wanted for me. We discussed things we wished we would have done differently in our marriage. We talked about how many wonderful things we experienced in two years. We wept, we laughed, we praised Jesus, we loved hard.

As I find this new normal, I will continue to share my journey and maybe help one more person. One thing that is destined for all of us is death, and with death comes grief. Everyone’s experience with grief will be different, not better or worse than another person’s, but different.

Until next time,

Amber